I Would Have Not

I think this week been having quite a distracted mind!! …and I found myself thinking why things happened the way they are and what if they didn’t actually happen…would my life be different now? Would it be for the best or worse?

So I was asking myself…
Lord, why don’t you take away this situation from my life??it would be much better if I don’t have it,…I guess…I would be free…I guess…the struggles would be much more lesser..I guess…my heart and mind wont be too burdened…I guess…life would be easier..I guess…

But.….
Would I have been a different person by now?
Would I be whom I’m supposed to be? Would I missed that chance of experiencing You?
Would I have not let You do what You wanted to do in my life?
Would I’ve known the meaning of surrender?
Would I have experienced the deeper touch of Your love?
Would I have understood what it meant to call You Lord and Friend?
I guess I would have not.….

So the conclusion is…
No matter what had happened,
No matter how I’m feeling..
No matter how my life is..
No matter how many struggles I’m facing..
No matter what…I shall praise God and thank Him for everything…
Cos through all those seasons in my life, He is working to fulfil His purpose in my life, and everything…my mess, my troubles, my worries, He’ll turn it around for my own good.
These are His words…and that’s all I need to answer all my questions!

It Shall be Well by Grace

The past few days, seems that God is revealing more of His grace, and at the same time there was a revelation of the nothingness in me. To know that nothing in me that can accomplish what He desires, and it’s purely Him who fulfil His purpose in me.

And I said this prayer to Him…

Your grace, Oh Lord
The sweet aroma, the fountain of blessings, joy and peace
Where I find acceptance, love and Your embrace
Nothing that I can say or do, that can make You love me more
It’s purely by Your grace, Oh Lord..

I come to a place of rest, where I found You
Where there’s no more strivings, no more trying, no more struggling..
No more that I can do..
But to say, I am who I am by the grace of God, and I do what I do by the grace of God

May Your grace is made perfect in my lack
May Your grace is made perfect in my weaknesses
May Your grace is made perfect in my failures
In everything I do…let it be made perfect

Lord, I felt a yearning…a desire…stronger than anything else, to see Your glory in my life and Your Kingdom come.
It’s a place where I’m merging with You, slowly…pieces and every bit of me being consumed by You, the fierce fire of Your love for me.
And in all situation, I’ll say.. “ It shall be well by grace”

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Jesus is our all in all…again and again, I come back to that place…in His presence, simply being with Him where His mercy and grace overflows.
It’s where all other things started to fade away, in the light of His presence.
Will you come to that place? And say the above prayer too?
Will you say…”It shall be well by grace” ?

Abiding in Christ

Reading “When Wallflowers Dance by Angela Thomas at the moment, and found this writing by Andrew Murray of what it means by abiding in Christ…give it a bit of thought…

Abiding in Christ is just meant for the weak, and so beautifully suited to their feebleness.
It is not the doing of some great thing, and does not demand that we first lead a very holy and devoted life.
No, it is simply weakness entrusting itself to a Mighty One to be kept-the unfaithful one casting self on One who is altogether trustworthy and true.
Abiding in Him is not a work that we have to do as the condition for enjoying His salvation, but a consenting to let Him do all for us, and in us, and through us.
It is a work He does for us. (Andrew Murray)

My Mum

Mother’s Day!! In my family, we don’t normally celebrate those special days. Hmm..but as I reflect about my mom, well just thought of sharing how mothers are gifts from God and even with their imperfections, they have taught and demonstrate God’s love upon our lives.

When I was much younger, I never really understood a mother’s love for her children, and I take it for granted a lot of times. But as I grew older and came to know Christ, as I begin to know the meaning of what love is, I begin to appreciate her more, for who she is and what she has done for all of us.
It’s amazing!! Considering that she has 6 children, me being the 5th, I consider myself very lucky. Having sisters and brothers around who supported me, such a big blessings! That’s probably why I’d love to have many kids next time!

I can say that I’m my mum’s favourite daughter…hehe….yupp! My younger sister even confirmed that! Everything that I want, she’ll give it to me…when I asked for some cash, she never questioned a lot, she trusted me a lot, and I could feel that she’s really proud of me. So I’ve always wanted to make her happy, to put a smile on her face.

When I looked at my parents’ wedding picture, wow…always feel proud of them! My mum has that simplistic beauty on her, and my dad has a fine good looking appearance (I’m really saying the truth here…).
She told me once why she chose my dad…hehe….cos one thing about my dad, couldn’t see any romantic dna at all in him…hahaha…and she said that there is something in my dad that she could see. She sees that my dad would be a good father who would take care of the family well. And she was absolutely right!! My dad would do whatever it takes to protect and provide for us. A man with few words, but has a sacrificial heart.

What I can really see from my mum is her sacrificial heart and faithfulness, putting the family above herself. The fact that she has a really soft and sensitive heart, and with a lot of the family struggles that we have, I believe she really felt it and it overwhelmed me thinking how much does she needs to bear emotionally. She could have just chose to walk away and leave everything behind, pursuing her own desires…but, she didn’t! Thank God! It is there I began to see her inner strength emerged, out of her frailty there is great strength. Something that I learn and took in for myself, the beauty of her heart. I could never thank God enough for her in my life.

My mom…
She chose to give
She chose to serve
She chose to smile
She chose to embrace
She chose to love
She chose to let go
She chose to stay
She chose us
She chose everything, but herself…

A Bride to be....

Was at the wedding on Saturday, and I’m always excited at weddings!! It’s such a beautiful and sacred moment, where two hearts are joined through the love of God, to make a long life commitment to each other, to cherish, to give, to love, and to walk side by side.

As the bride arrives ( yess!!! the most anticipated time for the bridegroom..), as usual, I feel the joy in my heart, a sense of awe I can say…to see her walking down the aisle, waiting to be presented to the bridegroom…Beautiful and glorious..

And all in a sudden, I heard the Holy Spirit whispered to me…”You are My bride to be…and I’m preparing you to one day becoming a beautiful and glorious bride..for that day when our hearts will be joined together to eternity.”

Couldn’t help it but feeling overwhelmed, and tears started rolling down…hehehe…
Jesus, once again..You captivated my heart !

I really believe that God is preparing His church, and His church is a “Bride to be..”, and it’ll be beautiful and glorious…more than what we can imagine or describe.
And in this time of preparation and sanctification, I want to be moldable and have a soft and open heart before God, allowing Him to do what He wants in my life..
I want to be so in love with Jesus…no other reason than that. To look forward for that day, when He’ll take hold of my hand…to be His beautiful and glorious bride.

For all the women out there ( including me…hehe…) who are still waiting for the “bridegroom to be” to come, in anticipation, hope and longing in our heart to be one day be joined in a sacred ceremony….
Just want to encourage you to turn our focus and the longing of our hearts to Jesus, and prepare ourselves now, allow Him to do His work of sanctification in your life, to make you pure and blameless before Him.

Marriage on earth is just a small glimpse of the much greater and glorious marriage that is yet to come….I’m excited!! Are you??

My King

At His command, the clouds hold the rain from falling to the ground
He holds the weather and four seasons in His hands
Look at the skies, the moon and the stars
Displaying the beauty and splendour of the King

How majestic and glorious is our God
No one can ever fathom nor describe His magnificent work
So complex, yet so simple

In my simplicity, I come to Him
I said a prayer…a request
Filled with hope and expectation
Eagerly waiting for an answer..

My heart is filled with His praises, thanksgiving, love,
and the sweetness of His presence
Knowing that the King of Universe,
Took the time…
To listen, to answer, to love, and to be present.

Now that’s my King !

Only You

Only You alone, who can satisfy my needs
Only You alone, who will always be present
Only You alone, who I can depend on
Only You alone, who love me just as I am

The world may turn its eyes away..
But I will look to the One whose eyes are ever on me
The One whose promises are faithful
Saviour, Lord, and Friend…Jesus is His name..

Why?

Sometimes the greatest battle is not found out there…but it’s within. And it could be the most challenging too. Well, starting from Sunday, just thinking about certain stuff and started asking God the “Why” question….
And yesterday, as I was doing some devotional time…then I asked God again…
Why am I not doing the things that I think I should be doing?
Why is my life now seems not to progress as how I want it to be?
Why does situation around me never seems to change?
Why do I feel that I have no wings when I wanted to fly?
Why, God?

Then..as I quiet myself and wait for His answer, I heard a gentle whisper within….
“It’s not about me…”….as I heard that voice, it just kinda answer all the “Why” question that I have, and everything else seems to make sense.
As I embrace that voice, I realised that it doesn’t really matter…really…whatever things that I do…when it comes to me, myself, and I…after all, it’s really all about Him.

It’s all about what He wants to do in and through our lives..
It’s all about His purpose and plans for my life and others..
It’s all about becoming more like Him..more of Him, less of ourselves…
It’s all about seeing His Kingdom come and His will be done..
It’s all about Jesus…really…

I know that life won’t get easier, and there’s another battle that’s yet to come..
But I also know that I’ll hear that voice within, a voice that calms the raging storms and still my heart. A voice that carries power, peace, gentleness and purpose.
Do you have any “Why” questions? Bring them to Jesus…He’ll tell you why…

In Quietness and Stillness

Reading some of the journals that I wrote…thought that this might encourage those to learn to be still before God and in quietness to wait upon Him....

In Quietness and Stillness…

Each day, my heart is still before You, Lord…seeking after You, and enjoying Your sweet presence in my life.
In the quietness my heart waits, and expect…that You, Oh Lord somehow will speak and gently touch me.

Trying to come near You….
But how far have I’ve gone? Or do I even move?
Move closer to Your presence…where Your glory dwells and grace abounds

Teach me how to walk, how to take each step, to follow Your footsteps…
And find You in every way..
Lord, open my eyes, my ears and my heart…to feel You, and to understand Your will for my life.

How fragile is my life, how weak is my heart, how easy I fall…
How to live this life….without falling or breaking?
To stand tall in the midst of life’s storm?

So I look to You…reaching You..finding You..
And now I know…
You’re the Strong Tower when my life crumbles..
My strength when my heart breaks and torn apart..
Sustainer of my life, The Lifter of my soul

I adore You always, and praise You all of my days
I have nothing if I don’t have You..
My life is what I have now with You…Forever until eternity..my home is where You are.

Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be
exalted in the earth.”

Crazy About Him

Sitting in my room last night, soaking in His presence…was reflecting upon His faithfulness and love for my life. Thinking to myself, I’m just one out of billions of people, with weaknesses, imperfections, my sinful nature…but yet, God overlooked all those things. He gave Himself for me…
I pondered about the sacrifice that He made for us…cos I may not really understand what it means, how far He was willing to go all the way to the cross for us.
I heard a song on the radio, and one line just catches my attention. It goes “Would you take His place on the cross?…this simple line just made me realise again the depth and wide of God’s love for us.

I asked Him, “Could I have loved You more? Could I have give to You more? Could I have serve You more? Could I have become a better person more? Could I have make You smile more? Could I have…?”…
Realised that He is everything that I have and need…who I am and what I have, it’s because of Him…where I am and where I’m going, all my plans and future means nothing without Him…
So I told Him..nothing in me that I could offer, but my broken heart..just myself..I simply offer Him myself. And that’s all I could give…

More and more I feel the longing and yearning for Him keeps on growing…as if nothing can satisfy my heart but Him alone. My heart is captivated by Him, and He has captured my mind, attention, and focus. He is the very first thing I think of in the morning, I look forward to hear His thought throughout the day.

I’ve fallen in love with Jesus…it almost feel like if I fall in love with a guy, where a lot of times, thought of him can drive me crazy! But with Jesus, it feels deeper, down to the depth of my soul ( not that I know how deep it is.. )..it feels that way. I’m crazy about Him!! Hahaha…the thought of having a life partner (bf /husband) is far less appealing now.. ;p

'Psalm 42:7'
"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me."

The lover of our soul is calling..reaching deep into our heart...for there is a a place deep within where only God can touch. An invitation to pursue Him and enjoy Him.