Priceless

Last week Friday was driving a friend home to Inala, and on the way I was just talking about how I used to have fear whenever the car is moving too fast due to near death experience that I had in Malaysia. I shared how God set me free from the fear, and now I love the speed (well, sometimes I speed a bit..hehe..). She shared how she would be really careful on the road..and ya ya ya...was agreeing with her...but it's just kinda came in through left ear and came out from the right ear.

And God knew what's happening in my heart...I was a bit stubborn, and rebellious...cos I still didnt really take even driving too fast seriously.

Low and behold....on the way back, I missed the turn on the roundabout!! I freaked out!! considering how bad I am in direction and reading map!
But thank God I managed to make another round to go back to the same place and pheuwwww...so scary. And I remember that my phone was off cos no battery.

I felt God was teaching me that sometimes, we can go through a situation and allow us to make the wrong choice, so that we can learn not to repeat it again..and of course God will provide a U-Turn for us.

About to reach Toowong...driving on the highway, didnt realise that I was a bit too fast...for some reason, my feet didnt want to tap on the break to slow down...and it was a tricky road where the speed always change..(yeahh..I was blaming at everyhting but myself...still stubborn...)
The suddenly ..."Booph..." not sure if that's the right way to describe..haha...saw a flash and...crap!!I bet I just earned myself a speeding fine. So I mourn and kept saying.."Jesus...why??"...then after a while, then it just hit me. A revelation from God - He was teaching me a lesson, to obey and do what is right. He knew sometimes I can be a bit stubborn...and finally I said.."Ok, Lord...I got it...I know You're teaching me and showing my heart attitude."

Felt grieved....cos I did what was wrong in His eyes...but yet, the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit that showed and spoke to me, it didnt come in a condemning way..but more like a firm, persuasive, loving kind of discipline. Reminded me about the Father's love to discipline His children. And I knew that His intention is always love. Out of love He didnt want me to remain the same.
Realising that, I felt very touched..and I felt grateful..and I felt joyful..!!Knowing that He cares enough...haha...so I felt really happy that night!
Haha..so strange...felt mixed of emotions at the same time.

Then I thought to myself..would we react differently in situations where God placed us in,if we knew and believe that His intention is always love?If He opens our eyes to see beyond the situation, His intention behind it...How would our respond be?

The $100 plus fine is nothing..compare to experiencing Him. How He opened me eyes, learned a valuable lesson, an experience to come to a better understanding of His heart....to know Him better and be changed..that I may continue to walk in the path of obedience...now that's PRICELESS!!!

A Walk to Remember

Sunday without the usual church service, felt like it was a Saturday, caught up with some friends, had a BBQ in the afternoon....and an emotional outburst in someone's car (hehe..sorry :p).

It's funny how sometimes I feel that I'm a very strong person, but at other time I feel that I'm so fragile and tender. Do I choose to be like that or it's a just a fact that God had made me that way?anyway, I believe can use these in my life for His purpose.

Late in the afternoon, I took a walk along the river...really recommended when you have a lot of things in your mind, and just want to find a peaceful place to talk to God. Last time when still staying at Southside, I'd jump into the swimming pool, especially when I'm tired.

Couldnt find the words to express how I felt and what God spoke to me..but this is the best that I can try...pray that it can somehow encourage you, my friends(and not so-friends) to continue to look to Him, to hope, and to believe..

Walking down the road
On one late afternoon
Noticed the skies, painted in blue
Fading its colours, as the sun returned to its home

There I was speechless
Confused...afraid...
Not knowing which step to take
My heart cries out, for You to shine Your light once more

Have I forgotten the way?
That leads me back to where Your heart is
Have I failed to understand?
Your purpose and plan for my life

As I reach out my hand to You
Lead me, Lord...each step of the way
In this journey called surrender
Where loneliness waits on every turn

Let me not forget to look to You
That I may put my trust in You
Fill me with hope, embrace me in Your love
And my heart will worship You alone

There in the silence
Gazing at the evening skies
I look at the moon and the stars
Shining bright as it colours the night

You opened my eyes
And all I could see
Is Your faithfulness O Lord
Surrounding me in every season's change

You opened my ears
To hear a song of praise
That arise within my heart
And I'll delight in Your ways again

(Psalm 25:10 "All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of His covenant")

Why are you downcast O my soul?

Yesterday felt very discouraged…. But I choose to obey..to submit…do it His way.
First thing I did? I cried…hehe..yeah…thank God it was after working time…
It’s the very natural thing that I do everytime something emotional happened….thanks to my mom who inherited this sensitiveness and softness…how I wish I am a tough girl who don’t cry!!! But I’m not…
And I cried out to God to give me His peace…kept praying…and even trying to read the scriptures from Psalm 42 again and again…
“Why are you downcast O my soul…
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God…for I will yet praise Him…
My God and my Saviour…”

In the evening…in His presence, I broke down in tears again…really bad!hehe…eyes were swollen with triple eye lid…kept praying…and asking His peace again..

And I heard His words to me, “What you just did is an obedience to me….and I require obedience better than sacrifice or your offerings..”
Wow..that words filled me with His peace, and I begin to see, that I was deceived and arrogant in what happened. Humbled by His mercy, I asked Him to take the lead in my life, felt like someone who cant tell her right from her left hand, can’t tell which is wrong and right. I remembered His words saying that, in our eyes things seems to be right, but it actually leads to sin/death…only God who has the true discernment.

His revelation brings freedom into my spirit, and it releases peace that guards my heart and mind. Amazing what the truth of God can do in our lives!!

Now I understand what king David meant when he said that verse…how that applies to my own life…situations may happen, and it may bring discouragement, and I may be broken, and I may cry badly over something…in all of that, it was that moment when I forget to look to God…when my soul is down, dwelling in discouragement or problems, I need to say to myself, hey…why am I downcast O my soul? look to God for solution…entrust Him my situations…and as I do that, He comes and fills me with peace and joy. Knowing that I am being held, in His hands, the hands that holds this universe together! When I look to Him who is bigger than the universe, it makes my problems small. Dunno how He does it but He did something in my heart, that I know it’s not by my own effort.

In everything, always fixed our eyes upon Jesus…
What do you see in your situation? Can you see Him there?