Took the test online for 5 love languages, and my lowest being physical touch n receiving gifts..hmmm..I do love receiving gifts though...
And the highest turned out to be "quality time"...guess what! the highest score for a love language is 12...and I got 12 on that!!!!well, I do agree that the presence of someone there with me is very important...I guess that's how God relates to me the most is reassuring me through His presence, and I do really feel His presence. It's amazing to think that God chooses the best way to relate to us, for our own sake, and that proves He knows us the best!
Thank God for making me this way.... :)
Love Language Score
Words of Affirmation 7
Quality Time 12
Receiving of Gifts 2
Acts of Service 7
Physical Touch 2
http://greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Sydney, here we come!
Mission trip time!! yeahh...will be in Sydney for the weekend from Thursday onwards. This is my 1st organised mission trip with Joseph group.
Please pray for the team, that God we'll have faith to see God move! C ya later, Brisbane!
Please pray for the team, that God we'll have faith to see God move! C ya later, Brisbane!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Grace Made Its Home....
Grace had found me…and now grace has start making its home within me…
It always amazes me the work of His hands upon my life, and revelation upon revelation of His love in my life. Recently God has been showing His grace and reveal to me what it really means to live in His grace.
But first of all, He was working something deep in my heart, healing, restoring, filling it with His love, then…it breaks again, then comes healing, restoration, and the infilling of His love..again and again…
Brokenness found me and made its home within me…strangely enough, it is the very ground of which grace made its home. Is this what the bible means where it says that God lives in high places, but also with him who has contrite spirit?
More and more that it happens in my life, I felt like the most vulnerable being ever…ready to break anytime, but at the same time I felt His grace strongest than ever holding me…Is this what the bible means when apostle Paul said that His power is made perfect in my weaknesses?
Yes..grace has made its home within me…it leads me to a place of rest, a place to lean on Jesus…not that my troubles will be lesser..in fact it will even become more, but there’s this peace, there’s this rest, and this is grace….that made me stronger than ever to face what the future may bring.
It always amazes me the work of His hands upon my life, and revelation upon revelation of His love in my life. Recently God has been showing His grace and reveal to me what it really means to live in His grace.
But first of all, He was working something deep in my heart, healing, restoring, filling it with His love, then…it breaks again, then comes healing, restoration, and the infilling of His love..again and again…
Brokenness found me and made its home within me…strangely enough, it is the very ground of which grace made its home. Is this what the bible means where it says that God lives in high places, but also with him who has contrite spirit?
More and more that it happens in my life, I felt like the most vulnerable being ever…ready to break anytime, but at the same time I felt His grace strongest than ever holding me…Is this what the bible means when apostle Paul said that His power is made perfect in my weaknesses?
Yes..grace has made its home within me…it leads me to a place of rest, a place to lean on Jesus…not that my troubles will be lesser..in fact it will even become more, but there’s this peace, there’s this rest, and this is grace….that made me stronger than ever to face what the future may bring.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Priceless
Last week Friday was driving a friend home to Inala, and on the way I was just talking about how I used to have fear whenever the car is moving too fast due to near death experience that I had in Malaysia. I shared how God set me free from the fear, and now I love the speed (well, sometimes I speed a bit..hehe..). She shared how she would be really careful on the road..and ya ya ya...was agreeing with her...but it's just kinda came in through left ear and came out from the right ear.
And God knew what's happening in my heart...I was a bit stubborn, and rebellious...cos I still didnt really take even driving too fast seriously.
Low and behold....on the way back, I missed the turn on the roundabout!! I freaked out!! considering how bad I am in direction and reading map!
But thank God I managed to make another round to go back to the same place and pheuwwww...so scary. And I remember that my phone was off cos no battery.
I felt God was teaching me that sometimes, we can go through a situation and allow us to make the wrong choice, so that we can learn not to repeat it again..and of course God will provide a U-Turn for us.
About to reach Toowong...driving on the highway, didnt realise that I was a bit too fast...for some reason, my feet didnt want to tap on the break to slow down...and it was a tricky road where the speed always change..(yeahh..I was blaming at everyhting but myself...still stubborn...)
The suddenly ..."Booph..." not sure if that's the right way to describe..haha...saw a flash and...crap!!I bet I just earned myself a speeding fine. So I mourn and kept saying.."Jesus...why??"...then after a while, then it just hit me. A revelation from God - He was teaching me a lesson, to obey and do what is right. He knew sometimes I can be a bit stubborn...and finally I said.."Ok, Lord...I got it...I know You're teaching me and showing my heart attitude."
Felt grieved....cos I did what was wrong in His eyes...but yet, the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit that showed and spoke to me, it didnt come in a condemning way..but more like a firm, persuasive, loving kind of discipline. Reminded me about the Father's love to discipline His children. And I knew that His intention is always love. Out of love He didnt want me to remain the same.
Realising that, I felt very touched..and I felt grateful..and I felt joyful..!!Knowing that He cares enough...haha...so I felt really happy that night!
Haha..so strange...felt mixed of emotions at the same time.
Then I thought to myself..would we react differently in situations where God placed us in,if we knew and believe that His intention is always love?If He opens our eyes to see beyond the situation, His intention behind it...How would our respond be?
The $100 plus fine is nothing..compare to experiencing Him. How He opened me eyes, learned a valuable lesson, an experience to come to a better understanding of His heart....to know Him better and be changed..that I may continue to walk in the path of obedience...now that's PRICELESS!!!
And God knew what's happening in my heart...I was a bit stubborn, and rebellious...cos I still didnt really take even driving too fast seriously.
Low and behold....on the way back, I missed the turn on the roundabout!! I freaked out!! considering how bad I am in direction and reading map!
But thank God I managed to make another round to go back to the same place and pheuwwww...so scary. And I remember that my phone was off cos no battery.
I felt God was teaching me that sometimes, we can go through a situation and allow us to make the wrong choice, so that we can learn not to repeat it again..and of course God will provide a U-Turn for us.
About to reach Toowong...driving on the highway, didnt realise that I was a bit too fast...for some reason, my feet didnt want to tap on the break to slow down...and it was a tricky road where the speed always change..(yeahh..I was blaming at everyhting but myself...still stubborn...)
The suddenly ..."Booph..." not sure if that's the right way to describe..haha...saw a flash and...crap!!I bet I just earned myself a speeding fine. So I mourn and kept saying.."Jesus...why??"...then after a while, then it just hit me. A revelation from God - He was teaching me a lesson, to obey and do what is right. He knew sometimes I can be a bit stubborn...and finally I said.."Ok, Lord...I got it...I know You're teaching me and showing my heart attitude."
Felt grieved....cos I did what was wrong in His eyes...but yet, the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit that showed and spoke to me, it didnt come in a condemning way..but more like a firm, persuasive, loving kind of discipline. Reminded me about the Father's love to discipline His children. And I knew that His intention is always love. Out of love He didnt want me to remain the same.
Realising that, I felt very touched..and I felt grateful..and I felt joyful..!!Knowing that He cares enough...haha...so I felt really happy that night!
Haha..so strange...felt mixed of emotions at the same time.
Then I thought to myself..would we react differently in situations where God placed us in,if we knew and believe that His intention is always love?If He opens our eyes to see beyond the situation, His intention behind it...How would our respond be?
The $100 plus fine is nothing..compare to experiencing Him. How He opened me eyes, learned a valuable lesson, an experience to come to a better understanding of His heart....to know Him better and be changed..that I may continue to walk in the path of obedience...now that's PRICELESS!!!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
A Walk to Remember
Sunday without the usual church service, felt like it was a Saturday, caught up with some friends, had a BBQ in the afternoon....and an emotional outburst in someone's car (hehe..sorry :p).
It's funny how sometimes I feel that I'm a very strong person, but at other time I feel that I'm so fragile and tender. Do I choose to be like that or it's a just a fact that God had made me that way?anyway, I believe can use these in my life for His purpose.
Late in the afternoon, I took a walk along the river...really recommended when you have a lot of things in your mind, and just want to find a peaceful place to talk to God. Last time when still staying at Southside, I'd jump into the swimming pool, especially when I'm tired.
Couldnt find the words to express how I felt and what God spoke to me..but this is the best that I can try...pray that it can somehow encourage you, my friends(and not so-friends) to continue to look to Him, to hope, and to believe..
Walking down the road
On one late afternoon
Noticed the skies, painted in blue
Fading its colours, as the sun returned to its home
There I was speechless
Confused...afraid...
Not knowing which step to take
My heart cries out, for You to shine Your light once more
Have I forgotten the way?
That leads me back to where Your heart is
Have I failed to understand?
Your purpose and plan for my life
As I reach out my hand to You
Lead me, Lord...each step of the way
In this journey called surrender
Where loneliness waits on every turn
Let me not forget to look to You
That I may put my trust in You
Fill me with hope, embrace me in Your love
And my heart will worship You alone
There in the silence
Gazing at the evening skies
I look at the moon and the stars
Shining bright as it colours the night
You opened my eyes
And all I could see
Is Your faithfulness O Lord
Surrounding me in every season's change
You opened my ears
To hear a song of praise
That arise within my heart
And I'll delight in Your ways again
(Psalm 25:10 "All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of His covenant")
It's funny how sometimes I feel that I'm a very strong person, but at other time I feel that I'm so fragile and tender. Do I choose to be like that or it's a just a fact that God had made me that way?anyway, I believe can use these in my life for His purpose.
Late in the afternoon, I took a walk along the river...really recommended when you have a lot of things in your mind, and just want to find a peaceful place to talk to God. Last time when still staying at Southside, I'd jump into the swimming pool, especially when I'm tired.
Couldnt find the words to express how I felt and what God spoke to me..but this is the best that I can try...pray that it can somehow encourage you, my friends(and not so-friends) to continue to look to Him, to hope, and to believe..
Walking down the road
On one late afternoon
Noticed the skies, painted in blue
Fading its colours, as the sun returned to its home
There I was speechless
Confused...afraid...
Not knowing which step to take
My heart cries out, for You to shine Your light once more
Have I forgotten the way?
That leads me back to where Your heart is
Have I failed to understand?
Your purpose and plan for my life
As I reach out my hand to You
Lead me, Lord...each step of the way
In this journey called surrender
Where loneliness waits on every turn
Let me not forget to look to You
That I may put my trust in You
Fill me with hope, embrace me in Your love
And my heart will worship You alone
There in the silence
Gazing at the evening skies
I look at the moon and the stars
Shining bright as it colours the night
You opened my eyes
And all I could see
Is Your faithfulness O Lord
Surrounding me in every season's change
You opened my ears
To hear a song of praise
That arise within my heart
And I'll delight in Your ways again
(Psalm 25:10 "All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of His covenant")
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Why are you downcast O my soul?
Yesterday felt very discouraged…. But I choose to obey..to submit…do it His way.
First thing I did? I cried…hehe..yeah…thank God it was after working time…
It’s the very natural thing that I do everytime something emotional happened….thanks to my mom who inherited this sensitiveness and softness…how I wish I am a tough girl who don’t cry!!! But I’m not…
And I cried out to God to give me His peace…kept praying…and even trying to read the scriptures from Psalm 42 again and again…
“Why are you downcast O my soul…
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God…for I will yet praise Him…
My God and my Saviour…”
In the evening…in His presence, I broke down in tears again…really bad!hehe…eyes were swollen with triple eye lid…kept praying…and asking His peace again..
And I heard His words to me, “What you just did is an obedience to me….and I require obedience better than sacrifice or your offerings..”
Wow..that words filled me with His peace, and I begin to see, that I was deceived and arrogant in what happened. Humbled by His mercy, I asked Him to take the lead in my life, felt like someone who cant tell her right from her left hand, can’t tell which is wrong and right. I remembered His words saying that, in our eyes things seems to be right, but it actually leads to sin/death…only God who has the true discernment.
His revelation brings freedom into my spirit, and it releases peace that guards my heart and mind. Amazing what the truth of God can do in our lives!!
Now I understand what king David meant when he said that verse…how that applies to my own life…situations may happen, and it may bring discouragement, and I may be broken, and I may cry badly over something…in all of that, it was that moment when I forget to look to God…when my soul is down, dwelling in discouragement or problems, I need to say to myself, hey…why am I downcast O my soul? look to God for solution…entrust Him my situations…and as I do that, He comes and fills me with peace and joy. Knowing that I am being held, in His hands, the hands that holds this universe together! When I look to Him who is bigger than the universe, it makes my problems small. Dunno how He does it but He did something in my heart, that I know it’s not by my own effort.
In everything, always fixed our eyes upon Jesus…
What do you see in your situation? Can you see Him there?
First thing I did? I cried…hehe..yeah…thank God it was after working time…
It’s the very natural thing that I do everytime something emotional happened….thanks to my mom who inherited this sensitiveness and softness…how I wish I am a tough girl who don’t cry!!! But I’m not…
And I cried out to God to give me His peace…kept praying…and even trying to read the scriptures from Psalm 42 again and again…
“Why are you downcast O my soul…
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God…for I will yet praise Him…
My God and my Saviour…”
In the evening…in His presence, I broke down in tears again…really bad!hehe…eyes were swollen with triple eye lid…kept praying…and asking His peace again..
And I heard His words to me, “What you just did is an obedience to me….and I require obedience better than sacrifice or your offerings..”
Wow..that words filled me with His peace, and I begin to see, that I was deceived and arrogant in what happened. Humbled by His mercy, I asked Him to take the lead in my life, felt like someone who cant tell her right from her left hand, can’t tell which is wrong and right. I remembered His words saying that, in our eyes things seems to be right, but it actually leads to sin/death…only God who has the true discernment.
His revelation brings freedom into my spirit, and it releases peace that guards my heart and mind. Amazing what the truth of God can do in our lives!!
Now I understand what king David meant when he said that verse…how that applies to my own life…situations may happen, and it may bring discouragement, and I may be broken, and I may cry badly over something…in all of that, it was that moment when I forget to look to God…when my soul is down, dwelling in discouragement or problems, I need to say to myself, hey…why am I downcast O my soul? look to God for solution…entrust Him my situations…and as I do that, He comes and fills me with peace and joy. Knowing that I am being held, in His hands, the hands that holds this universe together! When I look to Him who is bigger than the universe, it makes my problems small. Dunno how He does it but He did something in my heart, that I know it’s not by my own effort.
In everything, always fixed our eyes upon Jesus…
What do you see in your situation? Can you see Him there?
Monday, August 27, 2007
Late Nite Encounter
It’s a new season, feeling that God is giving me a new strength, new passion, new joy…and I’m really delighting myself in Him. I’m enjoying Him very much, and His presence is becoming more real than ever…His blessings overflows in my life…so overwhelmed by His grace and love.
Just last night, was lying on my bed, ready to go to bed…after started to fall asleep when I was praying..hehe…happened sometimes…And I was playing a devotional music..with lyric that goes like “Lord, You have my heart, and I will search for Yours…” Suddenly just felt the presence of God in the room, I could actually feel Him there just watching over me. Everytime I sleep, He watches over me..never realised this before, but it was overwhelming…God never sleeps!And His eyes are on me all the times!!! What a revelation!! Cos sometimes I forget that He’s with me all the times…but it doesn’t change the fact that His presence is with me every moment. So had a good cry before I slept…hehe….
Just last night, was lying on my bed, ready to go to bed…after started to fall asleep when I was praying..hehe…happened sometimes…And I was playing a devotional music..with lyric that goes like “Lord, You have my heart, and I will search for Yours…” Suddenly just felt the presence of God in the room, I could actually feel Him there just watching over me. Everytime I sleep, He watches over me..never realised this before, but it was overwhelming…God never sleeps!And His eyes are on me all the times!!! What a revelation!! Cos sometimes I forget that He’s with me all the times…but it doesn’t change the fact that His presence is with me every moment. So had a good cry before I slept…hehe….
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Hot Spot!
Went to Yuen's to get 10kg of rice for a friend...and need to rush off to another meeting back in Toowong. Parked my car right in front of the Vietnamese bakery, and a thought came to me, well...maybe I should buy some bread?I reasoned that I can serve the people with that...cos I hardly buy things from that bakery.
A lady came out and served me, as my hand reached to pick up the buns, she saw something on my wrist...and asked me if I am a follower of Dalai Lama???huh???haha...and I just explained that it's nothing special, bought it cos I like the butterfly thingy dangling..(love everything with butterflies...). And I told her that I'm a follower of Jesus, a Christian...and there we started chatted about our beliefs, and shared with her how I used to be a Buddhist. Apparently she follows Dalai Lama teaching.
Went back to my car...and was thanking God for giving me the chance to share, eventhough unexpected..but I realised that oh mannn!!! God is really convicting me about sharing the gospel of Christ, in anyway possible. I felt that drives and passion that I've never felt before..
And when He puts me in a "hot spot" - there I have a choice - What am I doing with the gospel in my hand?
I developed a motto for myself :
"Whatever it takes!" for the kingdom of God - this helped me a lot in times where I dont feel like going the extra mile, or when my selfishness and ego arise within me.
I just tell myself..."Whatever it takes, Su Kian!!"Do it for Christ' sake!"
And another one is:
"Just Do It!" for the kingdom of God - especially when I hestitate, and try to reason and justify myself not to have to do certain things. Quickly I'll tell myself again.."Just do it, Su Kian!!For Christ' sake!!"
They really works!!!hahaha...and God really fills my heart with joy - it became my strength.
Nothing of my own....
So when God puts you in a "hot spot" - what would you do?
A lady came out and served me, as my hand reached to pick up the buns, she saw something on my wrist...and asked me if I am a follower of Dalai Lama???huh???haha...and I just explained that it's nothing special, bought it cos I like the butterfly thingy dangling..(love everything with butterflies...). And I told her that I'm a follower of Jesus, a Christian...and there we started chatted about our beliefs, and shared with her how I used to be a Buddhist. Apparently she follows Dalai Lama teaching.
Went back to my car...and was thanking God for giving me the chance to share, eventhough unexpected..but I realised that oh mannn!!! God is really convicting me about sharing the gospel of Christ, in anyway possible. I felt that drives and passion that I've never felt before..
And when He puts me in a "hot spot" - there I have a choice - What am I doing with the gospel in my hand?
I developed a motto for myself :
"Whatever it takes!" for the kingdom of God - this helped me a lot in times where I dont feel like going the extra mile, or when my selfishness and ego arise within me.
I just tell myself..."Whatever it takes, Su Kian!!"Do it for Christ' sake!"
And another one is:
"Just Do It!" for the kingdom of God - especially when I hestitate, and try to reason and justify myself not to have to do certain things. Quickly I'll tell myself again.."Just do it, Su Kian!!For Christ' sake!!"
They really works!!!hahaha...and God really fills my heart with joy - it became my strength.
Nothing of my own....
So when God puts you in a "hot spot" - what would you do?
Monday, August 20, 2007
Decisions..it’s all about decisions…
When God opened my eyes to myself in the reflection of His mirror of truth, well..it’s not a very pretty look. I begin to discover so many weaknesses and imperfections, a human being inside me, frankly…I felt ashamed about myself…not that I hate myself, I do love myself, but something in me called the sinful nature, separate from who I am, but not really…if you know what I mean.
Kept saying…”God, there’s nothing good in me at all!!! Times and times again I sinned against You..what to do with me????…quite frustrating because you want to do something about it, but you feel you cant do anything about it???
“Please change me, Lord…change my heart, I don’t want to be like this!”What can I do to change myself?”
While expecting that I’d heard some kind of convicting loud voice from God to affirm that yesss…I’m a sinner, and what I did is not right in His eyes…
Instead, I heard a gentle answer….His Spirit spoke to me”It’s not about being something, or trying to change something, it’s not about how can I changed myself to reach a standard that I set for myself….But it’s about every decision that you make, the choices that you make at each point of time and situation. It’s about making the right choice…it’s about choosing Christ.”
I was overwhelmed by that…a gentle voice that comforts and brings light into the situation. There’s a peace that came and flooded my mind and heart. Knowing that I don’t have to be Miss Perfect Christian to please God…I am who I am with all my imperfections, and I am determined to do what is right and pleasing to Him. He is pleased with my obedience, not with what I can offer or sacrifice. The exercise of self-will and to submit it under the authority itself demonstrated the sacrifice and act of worship to acknowledge the sovereignity of Christ over our lives.
Whenever you come to a cross-roads, or any given situation where you need to decide and act, Pause…and Ask… What Would Jesus Do?Then…Just Do It!
“Jesus guides us towards Christ-likeness and yet remember the fallenness of our humanity”
(quote from the book “Beautiful Offering” – Angela Thomas)
Kept saying…”God, there’s nothing good in me at all!!! Times and times again I sinned against You..what to do with me????…quite frustrating because you want to do something about it, but you feel you cant do anything about it???
“Please change me, Lord…change my heart, I don’t want to be like this!”What can I do to change myself?”
While expecting that I’d heard some kind of convicting loud voice from God to affirm that yesss…I’m a sinner, and what I did is not right in His eyes…
Instead, I heard a gentle answer….His Spirit spoke to me”It’s not about being something, or trying to change something, it’s not about how can I changed myself to reach a standard that I set for myself….But it’s about every decision that you make, the choices that you make at each point of time and situation. It’s about making the right choice…it’s about choosing Christ.”
I was overwhelmed by that…a gentle voice that comforts and brings light into the situation. There’s a peace that came and flooded my mind and heart. Knowing that I don’t have to be Miss Perfect Christian to please God…I am who I am with all my imperfections, and I am determined to do what is right and pleasing to Him. He is pleased with my obedience, not with what I can offer or sacrifice. The exercise of self-will and to submit it under the authority itself demonstrated the sacrifice and act of worship to acknowledge the sovereignity of Christ over our lives.
Whenever you come to a cross-roads, or any given situation where you need to decide and act, Pause…and Ask… What Would Jesus Do?Then…Just Do It!
“Jesus guides us towards Christ-likeness and yet remember the fallenness of our humanity”
(quote from the book “Beautiful Offering” – Angela Thomas)
Thursday, August 16, 2007
My Interview
Today went for my citizenship interview in the morning. Got everything needed, and memorised the answers to the question that they’ll be asking. So pretty sure that today will mark the day of history in Su Kian’s life journey…
Then…found out that I have to wait until next month, the 15th September, to lodge in my application. Haihhh…I forgot to count the days when I was on my holiday for the past two years. They count every single day that I am actually staying in Australia.
The interesting part is…starting from the 17th September, they will introduce the new test – where you have to sit for multiple choice questions…sounds a bit scary for me…and the officer told me that I don’t have to do the test, if I lodge my application online on the Saturday, 15th September.
Thank God!!!! So close….but really praise God!!!
All I can say is…”God, why do you have to make it such a suspense and exciting for me???” Hahhahaa…walking with God is the greatest adventure!!!
Then…found out that I have to wait until next month, the 15th September, to lodge in my application. Haihhh…I forgot to count the days when I was on my holiday for the past two years. They count every single day that I am actually staying in Australia.
The interesting part is…starting from the 17th September, they will introduce the new test – where you have to sit for multiple choice questions…sounds a bit scary for me…and the officer told me that I don’t have to do the test, if I lodge my application online on the Saturday, 15th September.
Thank God!!!! So close….but really praise God!!!
All I can say is…”God, why do you have to make it such a suspense and exciting for me???” Hahhahaa…walking with God is the greatest adventure!!!
Showers of Blessings
After a season of drought, the rain started to pour out….I guess it’s raining now, and my life has been soaking lately on His presence. With that, blessings follows…. J
I’ve been wanting to buy a computer, it’s been a couple of months already…such a procrastinator!!Hehe, but financially as well a bit difficult. And remembered that I did once prayed and ask God to give one to me…hehe…felt kinda silly afterwards, then I reasoned to myself that computer doesn’t just fall down or get delivered to your front door. So put away the thought of getting a “free” computer from God.
This month I was getting close of buying it…and one fine night, my housemate Felisa, received a phone call from her friend whom just came back to Brisbane a week ago, and guess what…..
She asked Felisa if anyone needed a computer, and she’s “giving away” hers, in the midst of spring cleaning her apartment.
In the midst of preparing salad for dinner, my heart kinda leaps! Haha…was stunned and surprised. And without any hesitation, I say “Yes” to the offer!!!
In my heart, I said to God…”Lord, I wasn’t that serious asking you for a “free” computer…, but apparently You are serious with my request!”
Was reminded that couple of days before, on one fine night, in God’s presence, was expressing my desire to want Him more..and I told Him that I do not ask for blessings, nor any success in career, nor a house, nor a new car, nor a life partner(seriously….), if there’s one thing I ask is You, Lord. I know that nothing could ever fill that place in my heart other than Him. I know it…
And this God-chasing experience became really..really exciting!challenging!won’t change anything for it. I really found what I’m living for..it’s Him, a person, the truth, not the “things” of Him, nor what I can get and be for Him. The core of all that is basically a “relationship”…a love relationship with Jesus. And in the process, I am changed, and in that place, I am where He wants me to be, and doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I believe that when we place the right priority in our lives, everything will sort of fit and turn out to be just right. But again, we must not look at it through our human eyes, but through God’s…through the lenses of faith in Him.
So, it was really “sweet” of Him giving me blessings…He must have delighted in me…Ohhh..I think I’m falling in love again…
Still hasn’t really settled in my head that I actually have a “free” computer – from someone that I barely knew – I mean, that’s definitely God!!!
It taught me a lesson, that nothing is too small for God, and He cares in every little details of our lives. Even the very strand of our hair, He knows it! I can believe Him for everything!
I’ve been wanting to buy a computer, it’s been a couple of months already…such a procrastinator!!Hehe, but financially as well a bit difficult. And remembered that I did once prayed and ask God to give one to me…hehe…felt kinda silly afterwards, then I reasoned to myself that computer doesn’t just fall down or get delivered to your front door. So put away the thought of getting a “free” computer from God.
This month I was getting close of buying it…and one fine night, my housemate Felisa, received a phone call from her friend whom just came back to Brisbane a week ago, and guess what…..
She asked Felisa if anyone needed a computer, and she’s “giving away” hers, in the midst of spring cleaning her apartment.
In the midst of preparing salad for dinner, my heart kinda leaps! Haha…was stunned and surprised. And without any hesitation, I say “Yes” to the offer!!!
In my heart, I said to God…”Lord, I wasn’t that serious asking you for a “free” computer…, but apparently You are serious with my request!”
Was reminded that couple of days before, on one fine night, in God’s presence, was expressing my desire to want Him more..and I told Him that I do not ask for blessings, nor any success in career, nor a house, nor a new car, nor a life partner(seriously….), if there’s one thing I ask is You, Lord. I know that nothing could ever fill that place in my heart other than Him. I know it…
And this God-chasing experience became really..really exciting!challenging!won’t change anything for it. I really found what I’m living for..it’s Him, a person, the truth, not the “things” of Him, nor what I can get and be for Him. The core of all that is basically a “relationship”…a love relationship with Jesus. And in the process, I am changed, and in that place, I am where He wants me to be, and doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I believe that when we place the right priority in our lives, everything will sort of fit and turn out to be just right. But again, we must not look at it through our human eyes, but through God’s…through the lenses of faith in Him.
So, it was really “sweet” of Him giving me blessings…He must have delighted in me…Ohhh..I think I’m falling in love again…
Still hasn’t really settled in my head that I actually have a “free” computer – from someone that I barely knew – I mean, that’s definitely God!!!
It taught me a lesson, that nothing is too small for God, and He cares in every little details of our lives. Even the very strand of our hair, He knows it! I can believe Him for everything!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Never Runs Dry
I believe the Lord is calling me to go deeper in my committment to Him. At first, felt a bit afraid that somehow I won't be able to cope with it or it will change some things in my life at the moment...I guess I realised that my humanly nature rises, and tries to throw in as many reasons of not to do it.
In confusion, I asked the Lord to pesonally speak to me if it's really His will, and I needed Him to put that assurance in my heart. During the time just enjoying His presence, suddenly the passage about the widow and Elijah in 1 Kings 17 came into my mind...
And felt the Holy Spirit speaks into my heart...As I decided to give ou myself, to committ and surrender my life to the Lord, as He has asked me to, He promised that like the widow who gave what she had, in obedience to the voice of God, that the Lord will cause my life to never runs dry..never runs out..
He promised His endless supply of strength, power and grace upon my life...when I choose to give out my life for His purpose.
" The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day of the Lord gives rain on the land.."(1 Kings 17:14)
I took His promise into my heart, and I choose to obey....I said, "Yes, Lord...here am I.."
I realise that God always has His ways to speak to us..in His perfect timing...for His perfect will...
I guess the question will be, " What is your respond?"
In confusion, I asked the Lord to pesonally speak to me if it's really His will, and I needed Him to put that assurance in my heart. During the time just enjoying His presence, suddenly the passage about the widow and Elijah in 1 Kings 17 came into my mind...
And felt the Holy Spirit speaks into my heart...As I decided to give ou myself, to committ and surrender my life to the Lord, as He has asked me to, He promised that like the widow who gave what she had, in obedience to the voice of God, that the Lord will cause my life to never runs dry..never runs out..
He promised His endless supply of strength, power and grace upon my life...when I choose to give out my life for His purpose.
" The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day of the Lord gives rain on the land.."(1 Kings 17:14)
I took His promise into my heart, and I choose to obey....I said, "Yes, Lord...here am I.."
I realise that God always has His ways to speak to us..in His perfect timing...for His perfect will...
I guess the question will be, " What is your respond?"
Monday, June 4, 2007
A Single Seed
Over the weekend, was having our Joseph Care Group retreat down at Gold Coast. Very refreshing time and thought that I’d share what God has spoken during that time…..
(John 12:24)
“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
During the 1st night, was reading this verse, and I knew that God intended me to read it. As I began to ask God to reveal to me what He wanted to say, then felt that He was referring me, and every single child of God like that seed. We are meant to bear fruit, and we need to be planted in His field, which is the church, and there could be no other way. We need first to choose to fully commit ourselves to Him, and choose his will above everything.
Apart from that, He spoke to me something else that answer my situation where I felt unrest in my heart…He shows that it’s like a plant that’s growing…sometimes He brings a dry season in my life…so that I will stretch out my roots even more…reaching deeper into the Source of the Living Water. It’s a choice that I need to make, whether I want to remain the same, or to press on until I reach that Living Water. And I realise that He brings challenges and different seasons in my life, for one single purpose…to draw me to Himself.
Well, I see it pretty simple…whatever things that we do, decisions that we make, if that results in drawing ourselves closer to God and His purposes for our lives, you then have made the right move! Even if you don’t, the grace is God is always able to bring you back again as you ask of Him.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I Would Have Not
I think this week been having quite a distracted mind!! …and I found myself thinking why things happened the way they are and what if they didn’t actually happen…would my life be different now? Would it be for the best or worse?
So I was asking myself…
Lord, why don’t you take away this situation from my life??it would be much better if I don’t have it,…I guess…I would be free…I guess…the struggles would be much more lesser..I guess…my heart and mind wont be too burdened…I guess…life would be easier..I guess…
But.….
Would I have been a different person by now?
Would I be whom I’m supposed to be? Would I missed that chance of experiencing You?
Would I have not let You do what You wanted to do in my life?
Would I’ve known the meaning of surrender?
Would I have experienced the deeper touch of Your love?
Would I have understood what it meant to call You Lord and Friend?
I guess I would have not.….
So the conclusion is…
No matter what had happened,
No matter how I’m feeling..
No matter how my life is..
No matter how many struggles I’m facing..
No matter what…I shall praise God and thank Him for everything…
Cos through all those seasons in my life, He is working to fulfil His purpose in my life, and everything…my mess, my troubles, my worries, He’ll turn it around for my own good.
These are His words…and that’s all I need to answer all my questions!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
It Shall be Well by Grace
The past few days, seems that God is revealing more of His grace, and at the same time there was a revelation of the nothingness in me. To know that nothing in me that can accomplish what He desires, and it’s purely Him who fulfil His purpose in me.
And I said this prayer to Him…
Your grace, Oh Lord
The sweet aroma, the fountain of blessings, joy and peace
Where I find acceptance, love and Your embrace
Nothing that I can say or do, that can make You love me more
It’s purely by Your grace, Oh Lord..
I come to a place of rest, where I found You
Where there’s no more strivings, no more trying, no more struggling..
No more that I can do..
But to say, I am who I am by the grace of God, and I do what I do by the grace of God
May Your grace is made perfect in my lack
May Your grace is made perfect in my weaknesses
May Your grace is made perfect in my failures
In everything I do…let it be made perfect
Lord, I felt a yearning…a desire…stronger than anything else, to see Your glory in my life and Your Kingdom come.
It’s a place where I’m merging with You, slowly…pieces and every bit of me being consumed by You, the fierce fire of Your love for me.
And in all situation, I’ll say.. “ It shall be well by grace”
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Jesus is our all in all…again and again, I come back to that place…in His presence, simply being with Him where His mercy and grace overflows.
It’s where all other things started to fade away, in the light of His presence.
Will you come to that place? And say the above prayer too?
Will you say…”It shall be well by grace” ?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Abiding in Christ
Reading “When Wallflowers Dance by Angela Thomas at the moment, and found this writing by Andrew Murray of what it means by abiding in Christ…give it a bit of thought…
Abiding in Christ is just meant for the weak, and so beautifully suited to their feebleness.
It is not the doing of some great thing, and does not demand that we first lead a very holy and devoted life.
No, it is simply weakness entrusting itself to a Mighty One to be kept-the unfaithful one casting self on One who is altogether trustworthy and true.
Abiding in Him is not a work that we have to do as the condition for enjoying His salvation, but a consenting to let Him do all for us, and in us, and through us.
It is a work He does for us. (Andrew Murray)
Abiding in Christ is just meant for the weak, and so beautifully suited to their feebleness.
It is not the doing of some great thing, and does not demand that we first lead a very holy and devoted life.
No, it is simply weakness entrusting itself to a Mighty One to be kept-the unfaithful one casting self on One who is altogether trustworthy and true.
Abiding in Him is not a work that we have to do as the condition for enjoying His salvation, but a consenting to let Him do all for us, and in us, and through us.
It is a work He does for us. (Andrew Murray)
Sunday, May 13, 2007
My Mum
Mother’s Day!! In my family, we don’t normally celebrate those special days. Hmm..but as I reflect about my mom, well just thought of sharing how mothers are gifts from God and even with their imperfections, they have taught and demonstrate God’s love upon our lives.
When I was much younger, I never really understood a mother’s love for her children, and I take it for granted a lot of times. But as I grew older and came to know Christ, as I begin to know the meaning of what love is, I begin to appreciate her more, for who she is and what she has done for all of us.
It’s amazing!! Considering that she has 6 children, me being the 5th, I consider myself very lucky. Having sisters and brothers around who supported me, such a big blessings! That’s probably why I’d love to have many kids next time!
I can say that I’m my mum’s favourite daughter…hehe….yupp! My younger sister even confirmed that! Everything that I want, she’ll give it to me…when I asked for some cash, she never questioned a lot, she trusted me a lot, and I could feel that she’s really proud of me. So I’ve always wanted to make her happy, to put a smile on her face.
When I looked at my parents’ wedding picture, wow…always feel proud of them! My mum has that simplistic beauty on her, and my dad has a fine good looking appearance (I’m really saying the truth here…).
She told me once why she chose my dad…hehe….cos one thing about my dad, couldn’t see any romantic dna at all in him…hahaha…and she said that there is something in my dad that she could see. She sees that my dad would be a good father who would take care of the family well. And she was absolutely right!! My dad would do whatever it takes to protect and provide for us. A man with few words, but has a sacrificial heart.
What I can really see from my mum is her sacrificial heart and faithfulness, putting the family above herself. The fact that she has a really soft and sensitive heart, and with a lot of the family struggles that we have, I believe she really felt it and it overwhelmed me thinking how much does she needs to bear emotionally. She could have just chose to walk away and leave everything behind, pursuing her own desires…but, she didn’t! Thank God! It is there I began to see her inner strength emerged, out of her frailty there is great strength. Something that I learn and took in for myself, the beauty of her heart. I could never thank God enough for her in my life.
My mom…
She chose to give
She chose to serve
She chose to smile
She chose to embrace
She chose to love
She chose to let go
She chose to stay
She chose us
She chose everything, but herself…
When I was much younger, I never really understood a mother’s love for her children, and I take it for granted a lot of times. But as I grew older and came to know Christ, as I begin to know the meaning of what love is, I begin to appreciate her more, for who she is and what she has done for all of us.
It’s amazing!! Considering that she has 6 children, me being the 5th, I consider myself very lucky. Having sisters and brothers around who supported me, such a big blessings! That’s probably why I’d love to have many kids next time!
I can say that I’m my mum’s favourite daughter…hehe….yupp! My younger sister even confirmed that! Everything that I want, she’ll give it to me…when I asked for some cash, she never questioned a lot, she trusted me a lot, and I could feel that she’s really proud of me. So I’ve always wanted to make her happy, to put a smile on her face.
When I looked at my parents’ wedding picture, wow…always feel proud of them! My mum has that simplistic beauty on her, and my dad has a fine good looking appearance (I’m really saying the truth here…).
She told me once why she chose my dad…hehe….cos one thing about my dad, couldn’t see any romantic dna at all in him…hahaha…and she said that there is something in my dad that she could see. She sees that my dad would be a good father who would take care of the family well. And she was absolutely right!! My dad would do whatever it takes to protect and provide for us. A man with few words, but has a sacrificial heart.
What I can really see from my mum is her sacrificial heart and faithfulness, putting the family above herself. The fact that she has a really soft and sensitive heart, and with a lot of the family struggles that we have, I believe she really felt it and it overwhelmed me thinking how much does she needs to bear emotionally. She could have just chose to walk away and leave everything behind, pursuing her own desires…but, she didn’t! Thank God! It is there I began to see her inner strength emerged, out of her frailty there is great strength. Something that I learn and took in for myself, the beauty of her heart. I could never thank God enough for her in my life.
My mom…
She chose to give
She chose to serve
She chose to smile
She chose to embrace
She chose to love
She chose to let go
She chose to stay
She chose us
She chose everything, but herself…
A Bride to be....
Was at the wedding on Saturday, and I’m always excited at weddings!! It’s such a beautiful and sacred moment, where two hearts are joined through the love of God, to make a long life commitment to each other, to cherish, to give, to love, and to walk side by side.
As the bride arrives ( yess!!! the most anticipated time for the bridegroom..), as usual, I feel the joy in my heart, a sense of awe I can say…to see her walking down the aisle, waiting to be presented to the bridegroom…Beautiful and glorious..
And all in a sudden, I heard the Holy Spirit whispered to me…”You are My bride to be…and I’m preparing you to one day becoming a beautiful and glorious bride..for that day when our hearts will be joined together to eternity.”
Couldn’t help it but feeling overwhelmed, and tears started rolling down…hehehe…
Jesus, once again..You captivated my heart !
I really believe that God is preparing His church, and His church is a “Bride to be..”, and it’ll be beautiful and glorious…more than what we can imagine or describe.
And in this time of preparation and sanctification, I want to be moldable and have a soft and open heart before God, allowing Him to do what He wants in my life..
I want to be so in love with Jesus…no other reason than that. To look forward for that day, when He’ll take hold of my hand…to be His beautiful and glorious bride.
For all the women out there ( including me…hehe…) who are still waiting for the “bridegroom to be” to come, in anticipation, hope and longing in our heart to be one day be joined in a sacred ceremony….
Just want to encourage you to turn our focus and the longing of our hearts to Jesus, and prepare ourselves now, allow Him to do His work of sanctification in your life, to make you pure and blameless before Him.
Marriage on earth is just a small glimpse of the much greater and glorious marriage that is yet to come….I’m excited!! Are you??
As the bride arrives ( yess!!! the most anticipated time for the bridegroom..), as usual, I feel the joy in my heart, a sense of awe I can say…to see her walking down the aisle, waiting to be presented to the bridegroom…Beautiful and glorious..
And all in a sudden, I heard the Holy Spirit whispered to me…”You are My bride to be…and I’m preparing you to one day becoming a beautiful and glorious bride..for that day when our hearts will be joined together to eternity.”
Couldn’t help it but feeling overwhelmed, and tears started rolling down…hehehe…
Jesus, once again..You captivated my heart !
I really believe that God is preparing His church, and His church is a “Bride to be..”, and it’ll be beautiful and glorious…more than what we can imagine or describe.
And in this time of preparation and sanctification, I want to be moldable and have a soft and open heart before God, allowing Him to do what He wants in my life..
I want to be so in love with Jesus…no other reason than that. To look forward for that day, when He’ll take hold of my hand…to be His beautiful and glorious bride.
For all the women out there ( including me…hehe…) who are still waiting for the “bridegroom to be” to come, in anticipation, hope and longing in our heart to be one day be joined in a sacred ceremony….
Just want to encourage you to turn our focus and the longing of our hearts to Jesus, and prepare ourselves now, allow Him to do His work of sanctification in your life, to make you pure and blameless before Him.
Marriage on earth is just a small glimpse of the much greater and glorious marriage that is yet to come….I’m excited!! Are you??
Monday, May 7, 2007
Why?
Sometimes the greatest battle is not found out there…but it’s within. And it could be the most challenging too. Well, starting from Sunday, just thinking about certain stuff and started asking God the “Why” question….
And yesterday, as I was doing some devotional time…then I asked God again…
Why am I not doing the things that I think I should be doing?
Why is my life now seems not to progress as how I want it to be?
Why does situation around me never seems to change?
Why do I feel that I have no wings when I wanted to fly?
Why, God?
Then..as I quiet myself and wait for His answer, I heard a gentle whisper within….
“It’s not about me…”….as I heard that voice, it just kinda answer all the “Why” question that I have, and everything else seems to make sense.
As I embrace that voice, I realised that it doesn’t really matter…really…whatever things that I do…when it comes to me, myself, and I…after all, it’s really all about Him.
It’s all about what He wants to do in and through our lives..
It’s all about His purpose and plans for my life and others..
It’s all about becoming more like Him..more of Him, less of ourselves…
It’s all about seeing His Kingdom come and His will be done..
It’s all about Jesus…really…
I know that life won’t get easier, and there’s another battle that’s yet to come..
But I also know that I’ll hear that voice within, a voice that calms the raging storms and still my heart. A voice that carries power, peace, gentleness and purpose.
Do you have any “Why” questions? Bring them to Jesus…He’ll tell you why…
And yesterday, as I was doing some devotional time…then I asked God again…
Why am I not doing the things that I think I should be doing?
Why is my life now seems not to progress as how I want it to be?
Why does situation around me never seems to change?
Why do I feel that I have no wings when I wanted to fly?
Why, God?
Then..as I quiet myself and wait for His answer, I heard a gentle whisper within….
“It’s not about me…”….as I heard that voice, it just kinda answer all the “Why” question that I have, and everything else seems to make sense.
As I embrace that voice, I realised that it doesn’t really matter…really…whatever things that I do…when it comes to me, myself, and I…after all, it’s really all about Him.
It’s all about what He wants to do in and through our lives..
It’s all about His purpose and plans for my life and others..
It’s all about becoming more like Him..more of Him, less of ourselves…
It’s all about seeing His Kingdom come and His will be done..
It’s all about Jesus…really…
I know that life won’t get easier, and there’s another battle that’s yet to come..
But I also know that I’ll hear that voice within, a voice that calms the raging storms and still my heart. A voice that carries power, peace, gentleness and purpose.
Do you have any “Why” questions? Bring them to Jesus…He’ll tell you why…
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Crazy About Him
Sitting in my room last night, soaking in His presence…was reflecting upon His faithfulness and love for my life. Thinking to myself, I’m just one out of billions of people, with weaknesses, imperfections, my sinful nature…but yet, God overlooked all those things. He gave Himself for me…
I pondered about the sacrifice that He made for us…cos I may not really understand what it means, how far He was willing to go all the way to the cross for us.
I heard a song on the radio, and one line just catches my attention. It goes “Would you take His place on the cross?…this simple line just made me realise again the depth and wide of God’s love for us.
I asked Him, “Could I have loved You more? Could I have give to You more? Could I have serve You more? Could I have become a better person more? Could I have make You smile more? Could I have…?”…
Realised that He is everything that I have and need…who I am and what I have, it’s because of Him…where I am and where I’m going, all my plans and future means nothing without Him…
So I told Him..nothing in me that I could offer, but my broken heart..just myself..I simply offer Him myself. And that’s all I could give…
More and more I feel the longing and yearning for Him keeps on growing…as if nothing can satisfy my heart but Him alone. My heart is captivated by Him, and He has captured my mind, attention, and focus. He is the very first thing I think of in the morning, I look forward to hear His thought throughout the day.
I’ve fallen in love with Jesus…it almost feel like if I fall in love with a guy, where a lot of times, thought of him can drive me crazy! But with Jesus, it feels deeper, down to the depth of my soul ( not that I know how deep it is.. )..it feels that way. I’m crazy about Him!! Hahaha…the thought of having a life partner (bf /husband) is far less appealing now.. ;p
'Psalm 42:7'
"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me."
The lover of our soul is calling..reaching deep into our heart...for there is a a place deep within where only God can touch. An invitation to pursue Him and enjoy Him.
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